I have lived with an ocean of regret, and remorse, and pain.  Since leaving Australia and coming back to the US, for over 2 years now, I have carried that weight on my shoulders.  It has affected every single endeavor I have taken on.  It has colored every decision I have made.

What is worse, I believe, is knowing that I am responsible for all of it.  Blame cannot be placed elsewhere, or even spread around a bit.  It lies squarely at my feet and mine alone.  I had a beautiful, sweet, and loving woman at my side.  Not behind me or in front of me.  At my side.  Supporting me and adoring me and giving her love to me.

So, I am sorry.  I am so terribly sorry for what I have done.

I'm sorry for doubting you.

I'm sorry for judging you.

I'm sorry for not answering your calls.

I'm sorry for not Skyping more.

I'm sorry for not bringing you more flowers.

I'm sorry for not dancing with you more.

I'm sorry for not believing in you.

You saw in me, my ideal self.  Not the man I was, but the man I aspired to be.  You looked past my shortcomings.  You forgave my faults.  You saw only that ideal, and you loved me as if that was my true self.  I do not know how you did this, but it only matters that you did.  That's how amazing you were.