It’s the lesson. Again.
The same one I’ve been learning over and over and over for years. Life keeps shoving the lesson down my throat. I swallowed it up the first time I encountered it – a convenient reason to keep any and everyone at a distance. To keep from having to deal with all the crap that comes with caring. Why care, when no one appreciates it? Girls don’t appreciate good guys who care; they appreciate guys who grow weed in the storage closet. Obviously.
Recently, I had grown to resent the lesson. But why? What good has that done me of late??
Jack Shit…that’s what.
RELY ON NO ONE. BE AFFECTED BY NO ONE.
It’s so clean, so simple. If only I could buy into it once again.
What is it this time, you ask?? Well, dammit, what is it every time?? I’m sitting here in my Roman apartment at 1 frickin a.m. and I feel like the most retarded and gullible person in the history of the universe.
Whoever invented the whole “hot and cold” thing that girls do to guys…well, I’ve found the person who’s perfected the technique. What the hell is the point to that, anyway? What happened in the girl’s life to make her have a need to play this game?? If you like someone…JUST GO WITH IT. If you don’t like that person, then SO BE IT. And so here I am again, getting sucker punched. Happens every time, it seems.
It’s always something…ain’t it?? They either act differently after 6 months compared to when you first met them, or they throw themselves at you one night, only to pull the exact opposite the following night, or they only want you for sex, or they’re completely psychotic. Pick one. Or two…whatever.
“You’re really lovely, I quite fancy you, Jonathan…now I’m going to wrap my leg around yours and stroke my foot up and down your leg while I’m asking you if you fancy me” somehow turned into “ “.
Yep…you’re seeing that right. Quotation marks with a blank space in between. That’s all I’ve got right now from Sara. Explain that one. And don’t even think about asking me what happened, cause I have no idea. It’s enough to make a man go crazy.
You know how everyone always asks “Where are all the good men these days?”
Well, I have a MUCH better question for you fine folks:
Where are all the good women these days??
5 comments:
Oh, J... I am so glad you are back! I thought I'd lost you forevah!!!!! There are plenty of good women out there still, don't lose hope. Maybe you should focus on the task at hand, turn the tables a little and commit to not starting anything with anyone until you know where this gig is going for you. And I have the greatest, utmost, highest faith that if you quit looking for it, it'll come looking for you. Hugs and kisses....
Willow is damn smart! J, email me with some contact info for you! I googled you a day or two before you left, was gonna call and make sure you were still going and wish you well, but I didn't want you to think I'm nuts. If you get a job and stay for a while, I was going to ask you to go to Gaeta and take a few pictures of the beach and Split Mountain for me. SO stay in touch, you promised!!!
Though I've never been in this situation with any broads, I knew plenty of guys that have.
Firstly, let me commend you on getting pissed off about it instead of getting all whiney and pining over the bitch like some chemically unbalanced lunatic on the lifetime channel.
When I used to have friends, women would do similar things to them. Then, they'd have a few beers, get all weepy, and expect me to sit there and comfort them. I had to punch a Samoan -- a huge, blubbering, weeping Samoan. Why? Because some bitch was toying with him.
"Rely on no one. Be affected by no one." I kind of like that. Anyway, no women -- or person -- I've ever met are worth any of the bullshit that comes with them. Hang in there, man. It's never a bad time to catch up on your reading.
Hey, I am well worth the bullshit that comes with me. Just ask my husband. He's conditioned to lie about it. There are still plenty of good women out there, J. You're just lookin' for love in all the wrong places.
thanks for the input guys
i wrote this after a particularly long night, one which i'd much rather forget than ever think about again, or write about
but nevertheless...it happened and it made me feel this way
everything has since changed, as the course is over and we have parted ways
another post will come shortly
thanks guys
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