So I’ve been in Rome now for two and a half weeks. It literally seems like two days ago that I got here. I have had a blast. Has the TEFL course been intense?? You better believe it. I’ve learned more grammar here than I could remember from all my English classes in high school and college. And I had a lot of ‘em.
It’s amazing to think that 10 months ago, I was walking thru these same streets in complete awe, trying to soak up every little thing that I could. Now, that urgency has subdued somewhat. I never want to lose it, because my God, every day must be lived to its fullest. But St. Peter’s is about a football field away from my school. Piazza Navona is 90 degrees south, the same distance. I’m living among these things. It is a wonderful feeling.
This was such a good decision. Thank God. Even if I stay here for another month or two, never find a job teaching English, and just completely blow thru my savings…I will never regret it. These moments, these people, these memories…they are what define us. We take them with us for all our days.
Our class is relatively small. Typically there are 20 or 30 students. We have 10, which I like. It’s so much more personal and everyone knows everyone else. We even know each other’s little things and habits. Katie has been financially disowned by her parents. Helen is completely neurotic. Mason is from North Carolina…about an hour from where I am. It’s really damn cool. I wish we could just stay in this class for another month or two.
And obviously, there is a girl. If you had asked me after the first day if there was anyone I’d be interested in, you would have gotten a resounding “no”. So much for basing everything on looks, huh? Her name is Sara, she’s English, and she’s awesome. We’ve spent a lot of time together – she’s going back to England after the course, so we’ll soon be parting ways. She is going back because she has a boyfriend who she's crazy in love with, but it’s okay, because I know she’s not “the One”. I know her well enough to make that judgment, and as I was walking home from school today, God confirmed that for me. My first real conversation with Him in quite a while.
But you know what?? None of that matters when you’re watching her teach three 10-year-old Italian children about animals and clothes and colors in English. Nothing outside of that moment matters. The world freezes and nothing else exists. What an incredible scene. I could have sat in that classroom and watched her for hours. It’s pure. It’s unforgettable. Listening to her – in this rich English accent – tell the children what feathers are, and then catching her eyes for a moment that lasted just a bit longer than most moments do is a beautiful, beautiful thing.
She and I and two other girls went out last Friday. After three glasses of wine, Sara was making confessions.
“You’re really lovely, you know. I quite fancy you, Jonathan.”
“Oh, that’s just the wine talking.”
“No, no it’s not. I do fancy you. Do you fancy me?”
If someone could just tell me what to say to girls…I’d be better off. After all these years, I’m still a bumbling idiot.
“I’m not sure if I want to answer that, Sara.”
“Why not??”
If I only could have said, “Well, because you have a boyfriend back in England. And I’ve been that guy before. The one that steals the girl from her unknowing boyfriend…and sometimes in the end, it’s not much fun being that guy. Because sometimes that guy walks away with nothing. And because if I tell you the truth – that I do, in fact, fancy you – then the flirting that is going on between us may only intensify. And I don’t really trust myself in situations like that.”
But I couldn’t say that. Or rather, I didn’t say it. We spent the rest of the night with our legs wrapped around each other’s underneath the table. I saw the girls home and spent the night at Sara’s, but in a separate bed. It was 1 a.m. and I had no idea how to get home. So I accepted her offer.
And now I wish I had just told her. I want to tell her now.
“Yes. I do fancy you, Sara. Quite a bit.”
2 comments:
I'm very glad to hear you're doing so well. I knew things would work out for you.
What an interesting life you lead. One day you might even write a novel in the vein of Maugham's "Of Human Bondage." Well, without the club-foot, obviously.
Watch out for those womens, man. I've been informed they're nothing but trouble. Of course, that's coming from Al Bundy. Anyway, good luck. I do hope things keep going your way.
morbid - they are trouble, man. as i have recently found out. i have a post written, but damn this stupid internet cafe, i can't insert the floppy disk. so that will have to wait. but thanks for the support. things have gone well so far, but i still have a few more hurdles ahead.
JT - thank you very much
willow - i know what you mean about the paragraph. i've thought about telling her about it, or showing her. but i'm not sure how wise that would be. she's one of those girls who's hot and cold all of the time. like i said, i have another post written out, about that very thing
anyway, thanks guys. being in a foreign country with no real friends can be discomforting. you guys ease some of that for me.
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