I hardly ever dream. 2 or 3 times a year, tops.
So the fact that I’ve had 3 dreams over the last couple of weeks is astonishing for me.
My first one, a few weeks ago, had me standing in the midst of hundreds and hundreds of scorpions. I was not alone – someone was standing with me – but I was the focus of these creatures.
There were 2 kinds of scorpions. Your typical, garden-variety scorpion that kept attacking me. And I kept standing there getting stung.
The second group was classified to me, by my companion, as “suicide scorpions”. These creatures would pull the tail over their head, but instead of stinging an enemy or attacker – they would sting themselves. They were killing themselves.
And instead of allowing this very odd of phenomena, I protected them. For these “suicide scorpions”, I would place my hand in between their bodies and their tails. I would take their attack, rather than allow them to sting themselves. I offered myself for their protection.
A friend made the observation that perhaps the scorpions in my dream represented women in my life. A keen interpretation, perhaps.
However rare it is when I have a dream – it is 10 times as rare that I dream about a girl I know. Within the last week, though, there have been 2 such dreams.
It has been hell.
Monday night was the first. Her face – more vivid than any photograph I have ever taken. The sensations – returned from the depths of my memories. Every detail was present.
The second one showed up Thursday night. I am haunted by her face – by her smile - by the memories that I myself have locked safe within my soul.
Sleep has come to me with some difficulty since I got back from my vacation. I lie awake and play situations out in my head. Actual situations; hypothetical situations; vastly unrealistic situations.
None of it matters.
“I didn't ask for it to be over, but then again, I never asked for it to begin. For that's the way it is with life, as some of the most beautiful days come completely by chance. But even the most beautiful days eventually have their sunsets.”
Oh, how I wish the sun hadn’t set quite yet.
4 comments:
perhaps the scorpons represent people in general- attacking you as "everyman" while the other type represent people who tend to attack themselves. Not wanting to see them hurt themselves you try to save them, and in the process inadvertantly you are attacked. It could be women, but if so, it assumes that you are feeling that all of them are attacking you or you are trying to save the rest who are not.
So, what does that mean? Not much- dreams are important in that they are very useful to the psyche, especially when you are trying to deal with a difficult problem such as you have described.
Right along with that there are the other two dreams, the ones with the very vivid memories of special ladies in your life. If they are in the midst of this recent issue then it is not at all surprising to have dreams of them. But don't lose sleep over the dreams. They are a necessary part of good mental health. If you cannot enjoy them, endure them without spending too much time worrying about the meanings. Mostly dreams mean nothing in particular. Sometimes they are insightful, but usually it is apparent.
Like e said on the last post, let God bring you through this and through it, closer to Him and stronger for the journey.
JT - significant changes, indeed
thanks for the words - they are appreciated
dennis - as always, thank you for the insights
the last 2 dreams have been bitter sweet - i'm sure you know why
and i am trying
I dream all the time. Weird, strange and very vivid dreams. And I can tell you that all a dream is is a subconscious manifestation of things you will not let your conscious mind drop. Things that, forwhatever reaso, you have not thought through and come to a closure about. No matter how painful it is, you must not ignore the natural progression of things. Your dreams aren't telling you anything other than you need to come to terms with what has happened. I know, I know. Easier said than done. Letting go can dake days, months or years. The trick is to let go at your own pace, and know that someday you will be okay with it. My experience with letting go come to mind- my husband had a girlfriend when he was about 19 (she 18, his first love) she got pregnant and had an abortion. When I first started dating him seriously, it did not bother me because I was young and secure in our relationship. By the time we got together, it had close to five years since this occurred. He wasn't proud of it, and told me with the hopes that it wouldn't change how I felt about him. It didn't then, but right after we were married, I found out I was pregnant and I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks. Looking back, my way of dealing with it was to project my anger at him and her- a girl I have never even met. I hated him, even as my husband, secretly, inwardly, and in a very internal way. I felt that this girl had been given a choice and look what she did. Look what HE allowed her to do. It was a rip through every sense of my being at the time. I began to pray, though I was not yet saved. And I knew that the only way for me not to eat myself up in rage was to forgive him, forgive her, to ask God to bless them both despite the sin, and to move on. And the moral of the story is that it came very very slowly. Day by day, I made efforts to repair the damage I had done to my marriage in those early years. And looking back, I am better and we are stronger for the way I worked through something he will never even know I had to work through. You'll get there, and you'll be better for it. But this you already know. Take it easy, slugger. Have sex dreams instead.
willow - very intriguing insight. i have to say i've never thought about different viewpoints in my dreams, and the idea that i could be another entity besides myself in those dreams.
your points make sense and i can see how they fit into my life - however, i'm not sure if i'll ever know for sure...
Post a Comment