I allowed myself a bit of weakness the next morning when I cried in the shower. Not long ago, my reaction would have been to tell myself that this girl didn't matter. Useless to me. A bystander.
But I was finally beginning to understand that if you go thru life with that perception, you will face years of regret down the road. I refused to do that any longer. For all intents and purposes, I was devastated. However, all was not lost - for I had enjoyed days alone in Paris and I would enjoy them again. The day was filled with keeping to myself and hiking high above the city.
The heat was suffocating and the sweat was dripping, but that day was - in a way - cleansing.
After dinner I settled down at the Mirador once again. To watch the sunset, the sky turn thru its spectrum of colors, and get lost among the locals. Writing in my journal, my thoughts wandered and God began to speak to me. It was the first time in a few days that I heard His voice.
I wrote questions in my journal and then felt the need to stand and take a walk. I will not relay what He said to me that day, for it would be slightly embarrassing, and because what was said was meant for me alone.
But that conversation changed me. He gave me an insight into my life that I had not planned on ever receiving.
Later, I thought about where the path was taking me next. Ryanair was flying me from Sevilla to Milan in a week - but what to do till then? I could feel that it was time to leave Granada so I had a few days to play with.
When was Amanda getting into Malaga? Malaga was only a few hours south of here, and only a few hours away from Sevilla. Actually, not a bad spot to spend a few days.
Almost like a child, I sprang up, ran as fast as I could down the path that leads to the city and back to my hostel. An email was written before I could think of what to write and now all I had to do was wait for her response.
"What a brilliant idea!" I thought.
Well, her response didn't come quickly and it was the following day before any correspondance could be made. But I was to meet her in Malaga, at the bus station. She booked a room and we were to see each other again.
Logic, in case you were wondering, had been tossed to the curb. I was taking this by the seat of my pants and unsure of what I was doing.
And it could not have been more fun.
Looking back on all of this - I can't help but feel blessed. I went to Europe alone. Sure, I knew Jeremy and Bridget were already over there, but I was not tagging along and would only see them a few times along our travels.
So being alone for the majority of the trip was therapeutic in ways I didn't even know existed. But meeting Amanda, I gained a companion.
I knew I was blessed. And I was thankful for it.
4 comments:
I have a feeling God told you to tickle the tiny topaz... hahahaha, just kidding! I'm very excited you are going to meet up with Amanda again. Where does she live in real life?
Meeting Someone Qualified X-cites And Tames Z.
You lead quite the interesting life.
haha....you're crazy steph
and i was glad to be meeting up with her again, also, if only for a short time
oh, and she lives in a far away place in real life (can't divulge too much!)
morbid - the correct wording would be "you DID lead..."
seeing as how right now i'm being a bum and trying to find some more money so i can do it all over again
but thanks
J Holden, it's not like you're DEAD, saying the "you DID lead..."
Come on, get with it! : )
Also, I'm sick of reading about you crying in the shower over Amanda so post something new (although you in the shower is okay, just not the crying part!) LOL!
Evil Kids Very Likely Love Cool Vixens.
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