People, more times than not it seems, have ulterior motives. They want to influence others to better suit their own needs and desires, and perhaps, fears. They lie – they deceive. I have encountered too many of these people. They are pathetic. Now on to my post…
Saturday night brought me another dream. The girl with the perfect smile wasn’t smiling this time. No…she was trapped beneath a crumbling house. She needed help. She needed someone to save her.
And I went in after her. Crawling under the house towards her, I was intensely aware of my feelings for her – and her apparent lack of them for me. In this moment, though, it mattered not. I clasped her hand in mine and pulled her to safety.
Standing to clear us of the danger, she stumbled into my arms. Although her hands were gripping my biceps with urgency, they felt light as feathers. My eyes gazed into hers and hers into mine, as if the danger just a few feet away simply did not exist. But something broke the moment and we moved off into the distance.
A flash elapsed a few hours and I found myself walking the girl home. She was bumped and bruised but she was walking by my side with her arm thru mine. Of all the amazing things in this world – a girl walking with her arm thru mine is easily in my Top 5.
Her door stoop appeared quicker than I anticipated and my courage swelled up enough to speak.
“You don’t have to pretend to like me just because I saved you”, I said in a self-deprecating way, fully expecting this luminous creature to breathe a sigh of relief and reply “thank God”.
“I am not pretending, Jonathan.”
The words hit me like water to the lips of a man lost in the desert for years and years.
Our eyes locked again, as if the moment from earlier had never been interrupted.
The dream started to fade here, but a very pale image of our lips meeting is burned in my mind’s eye. Perhaps it’s my optimistic imagination kicking it. Perhaps it actually happened that night.
Either way, I would say it’s part of the Dream.
5 comments:
Excellent point...
e - Not every guy is the same.
You're tying yourself into knots. You've got to close this chapter or you'll keep having dreams and thinking things that make it harder to let go. What's with the ulterior motive pre-empt? Something interesting, I presume you were making a point to someone....
Dreams are very strange. The movie "Waking Life" deals with the subject in an interesting way. If you haven't seen it, you might want to check it out. If nothing else, it gives you a lot to think about.
e - thank you, a million times thank you. i used to be terrified of what people thought. but i have been exposed to things very early on in my life that have taught me valuable lessons. and i love dreamers, too.
bd - i agree with you, although i can't prove it to e, i could only say "be patient"
JT - it's something that is sooo small but catches me every time
christa - i don't think i'm getting in knots, i think i did for about a week or so, but i've come to peace about it and i want to allow myself to "feel" my way out of it. i think the dreams and the wanting are healthy - maybe i'm not supposed to get everything i want? however, i could be dead wrong about this, and i appreciate any and all insights
willow - i think you're on to something there. i've got a quote you might like.
morbid - dreams are very strange, i've never really given them much thought, because i've never been a frequent dreamer - but it's interesting to ponder - i may just check out that movie
nicolina - none taken, although i hope i haven't offended you again - it's just a dream
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