I wish to God that I could make everyone happy. There are many, many people in my life who I care about dearly and I wish I could make all their pains and fears vanish into the wind. I wish I could carry their burdens for them and ease the weight on their shoulders.
I have tried in earnest.
It is not possible. And although it is not possible – I will likely continue to try for all the days of my life. Maybe it’s not necessary. Maybe that’s not the way to live one’s life. But this is how I am built.
I’m an optimist. I’m a romantic. I’m a dreamer. I wear my heart unabashedly on my sleeve.
And today, I have been beaten. I’m worn and broken and spent. It feels like I’m being taken out by snipers.
But Tomorrow – tomorrow the sun will rise and a new day will come upon us.
7 comments:
Yeah, unabashed is good. And live life to the hilt--a great swordfighting metaphor, but living to the hilt means getting seriously stabbed now and then.
For some reason this post made me think of the Motorhead song "Stand." It's a pretty encouraging song - even lyrically. Besides, Motorhead kicks ass.
in the words of a country song- "it's better to be hated for who you are than be loved for who you're not". Don't apologize for being the way you are, and don't change for anyone but yourself. Sorry I missed your IM, obviously there have been, uh, developments. I'll be on tonight, working on my non-NANO WIP...... hope we can chat. take it easy, J.
nicolina - no, it wasn't your email that got me. it did cause me to question myself, but somehow the idea that you're just looking out for me actually came thru the email. and i appreciate that. i always enjoy hearing from you - and i'd rather you not back off.
e - you are wise and you are honest and although it's really funny reading your sentences that are only broken up by "..." - i love it - there are so many people out here, writing blogs, that are TRYING to entertain others - that's not what it's about for me - i'm only trying to be honest, with ya'll, and with myself - and don't worry about it being long - write more next time
cliff - thru conflict (albeit small), i have found a new friend. you are a gentleman and you speak intelligently and honestly. i appreciate immensely the words you wrote and the encouragement.
"The world needs all the unabashedly optimistic romantic dreamers it can get." - you better believe it, bro
steven - i think that's the beauty of it. sure, i'm gonna get stabbed, sometimes pretty badly. you just made me think of a metaphor i love. it will be my next post.
morbid - always love your perspective, man. i'm gonna download that song as soon as i can find a program that doesn't make my laptop freeze up.
christa - them's words to live by! not really any developments, i was just feeling, well, exactly how my post conveyed i was feeling
everyone - my dad's store got robbed tonite, i might make a post but i don't want anyone to be offended, since it would be rather angry and obscene.
any opinions, let me know
ya'll are great
Sorry about your father's store. I happen to be rather angry and obscene myself, so rant away - I won't be offended. However, I'm guessing I'm much more callous and base than many of your other readers, so you'd better not listen to me.
But, if you happen to take your aggressions out by writing a scathing, rabid rant, I'll post it on my blog. The few people who read my filth have pretty much come to expect the worst, so you'll look like a Saint in comparison.
j- it's the day after "tomorrow," so you've had a couple days to think about things. as always, I appreciate your candor, even though you seem to withhold the details when we want them most (but that's just the inner gossiper in all of us, wanting to be in the know). as steven said, you'll take your wounds when you truly live. You can't come through unscathed every time. But take heart: we're all in this. Those of us who have committed ourselves to breathing deep the breath of life will on occasion get a whiff of something foul. It's what makes us savor the sweetness all the more.
sorry about your dad's store- I'd be upset myself. It is such a violation of one's personal space, even when not present at the time.
What kind of store does your dad have? You probably posted about it somewhere but I've been kind of random lately.
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